Dragnet: The Big Boob Job

Dragnet: The Big Boob Job

Narrator: "Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to read is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent...and the producers.

You're a detective sargeant. You're assigned to Special Cases. Whatever crimes that don't fit into the usual departments go to you. You never know what you are going to get. Most of the cases are cranks, but sometimes the most unbelievable things happen. The first victim doesn't know he is a victim of a crime. He is about to find out. Your job is to protect the public."

Dragnet: The documented drama of an actual crime. Investigated and solved by the men and women who unrelentingly stand watch on the security of your home, your family, and your life for the next 30 minutes transcribed in cooperation with the Los Angeles Police Department. You will travel step by step on the side of the law through and actual case from official police files. From beginning to end, from crime to punishment, dragnet is the story of your police force in action.

It was Thursday, January 12, it was cold in Los Angeles. We were working in the Special Crimes Unit. My partner is Ben Romero, the boss is Ed Baxter, chief of detectives. My name is Friday. I was walking back from R & I and it was 3:47 p.m. when I got back to room 42 Special Crimes.

Chandler: "Hi Joe, Chief wants to see you. He's in there with Romero. "

Friday: "Thanks Chandler. How's the wife?"

Chandler: "Fine, how's your mother?"

Friday: "Back problems. You know."

Chandler: "Sorry."

Romero: "Hi Joe."

Chief: "Friday, sit down. We have an odd one for you."

Friday: "All of them are like that."

Chief: "This one says someone gave him breasts."

Friday: "A guy?"

Chief: "Yeah."

Friday: "He should sue the doctor for screwing up. Not come to us."

Chief: "He didn't come from a doctor."

Friday: "What should we do?"

Chief: "Take his statement...and try not to laugh at him."

Friday: "I never laugh. I don't have a sense of humor."

Romero: "You can say that again."

Friday Voice-Over: "You never know what you are going to get in the Special Cases Unit. Sure, the cranks and crackpots come here, but in general they are nice people who are just a little confused. We take their statements and see if we can solve their problems. Some we have to refer to a higher power whether that be a priest or a psychiatrist, is a judgment call. The citizens who usually come to see us want some privacy. We give it to them if we can.

In an interrogation room, a young man was waiting for us. He was standing and pacing. A young woman was also there, she was seated. The man was bundled up in a coat. It was cold outside, but warm in the office.

Friday: "Hello, I'm Sargeant Friday. My partner is Officer Romero. What can we do for you?

Middleton: "My name is Middleton, Alexander Middleton. This is my girlfriend, Rebecca. I used to be an ordinary man."

Friday: "You still look like one."

Middleton: "But now I got these!"

Friday Voice-Over: "Middleton opened his coat. He was wearing a suit jacket underneath. Then he removed the jacket. Under that was a tie and a button-down shirt. Mounds could be seen on his chest. He removed the tie and the shirt. Under that, he wore a white T-shirt. He pulled the T-shirt over his head exposing his bra. It was clear that on his chest he sported a pair of women's breasts. The breasts weren't huge. From my unpracticed eye, I would say they were B-cups. They were full, and the skin looked soft and smooth, and despite there being hair on the rest of his body, there wasn't any on the breasts.

Friday: "Have you always had them?"

Middleton: "Would I be here if they had always been there?"

Friday: "I suppose not. When did you get them?"

Middleton: "About three hours ago."

Friday: "What do you want us to do about it? Maybe you should see a doctor?"

Middleton: "I already saw a doctor. he said I could have them surgically removed. That was the only way to get rid of them."

Friday: "What can we do?"

Middleton: "You can find the guy who gave them to me!"

Rebecca: "His breasts are almost as big as mine. I had to lend him one of my bras."

Friday: "Who do you think did this to you?"

Middleton: "I don't know. I never saw him before. I can describe him though."

Friday: "How do you know it was him?"

Middleton: "Because he was smiling at me."

Friday: "You had better tell us the whole story."

Middleton: "I was at the Twin Pines Mall. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, just walking around. You know, window shopping. It was warm in the mall, so I had unzipped my jacket. I felt something on my chest. So, I brought my hands down to touch my chest. When I touched my body, it felt good. I'm embarrassed to say I enjoyed the feeling. But then I realized that my chest was still growing. At first, I ignored the feeling, but as my fingers started to knead my chest, I knew something was wrong. No matter how good it felt, it shouldn't feel, I don't know how to describe it, full and getting fuller. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't pull my shirt off in the middle of the mall. Then I realized what I was doing, kneading my chest, so I quickly looked up and dropped my hands to my sides. I locked eyes with a fellow who was staring at me. He was smiling. His hand was inside a paper bag.. I guess that whatever it was that was doing this to me was in the bag. I yelled, "Hey you, what are you doing." He turned and ran. I ran after him. I lost him in the crowd."

Friday: "Are you sure it was him?"

Middleton: "Yes, when I looked into his eyes, I was sure. You know a gut feeling."

Romero: "What did he look like?

Middleton: "He was a short man, maybe five six, or seven and about 150 pounds. He was young, mid-twenties. He was wearing a down jacket with a hood, blue oxford shirt, brown dress pants, brown shoes and socks. His brown hair was short and parted on the right side, I was too far away to see his eye color. I guess they were dark, "

Romero: "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?"

Middleton: "I'll never forget him. How can you forget someone who did this to you."

Middleton referred to his new breasts. He had redressed as he talked, he was back wearing his shirt.

Friday: "We'll file the report and give you a call if we come up with anything."

Middleton: "Shouldn't I look through some mug shots or something?"

Friday: "Okay, let me get you some people to look at."

Friday Voice-Over: "We allowed Middleton to look over sexual deviants. We didn't know who else to show him. This was a new case for us. We had never encountered anything like this previously."

Romero: "What do you think Joe?"

Friday: "I don't know. Those breasts certainly look real."

Romero: "I think they are real, but do you think he developed them in a few seconds like he said."

Friday: "I don't see how he could. It takes years for girls to develop them. If it only took a few seconds, then it was magic."

Romero: "I don't believe in magic."

Friday: "Neither do I."

Friday Voice-Over: "We filed the paperwork but didn't take any action on the case. Neither Ben nor I believed Middleton's story. We didn't know where the breasts on his chest came from, but we didn't think it was a police matter. We returned to our more usual odd cases.

On Tuesday, January 17 at 8:00 a.m., I returned to the office. This time the Chief was waiting for me."

Chief: "It happened again."

Friday: "What happened?"

Chief: "Another man developed breasts. These are even bigger than the last one. I want you to drop everything else and concentrate on this case."

Friday: "Why?"

Chief: "This time it happened to an officer. I want you to see Officer Hensen. He's at Rampart Hospital."

Friday: "I'll get right on it, Chief."

----------------------

Romero: "Again?"

Friday: "Yeah, someone is giving breasts to men."

Romero: "Why would anyone do that?"

Friday: "He's got to be sick."

Romero: "...and a medical genius. I don't know why he is doing this, but to give a woman bigger breast without surgery in just a few seconds, that person could make millions of dollars."

Friday: "He decided to give them to men instead. He's sick."

Friday Voice-Over: "We entered the hospital at 8:24 a.m. and walked straight to Officer Hensen's room. He was lying flat on a hospital bed. A blue blanker covered his body to just below his collar bone. The outline of breasts were obvious under his blanket. The mounds on his chest were large, but not enormous. They were a D-cup: big but not comically huge. Ben and I assumed he wasn't wearing a bra. If something wasn't done, when he left the hospital, he would need to wear one a bra for the rest of his life.

I recognized his face. I had seen Officer Hensen at the station in his uniform. But I wasn't friendly with him, he was a beat cop that I hadn't had much interaction with. I moved in close talk to him."

Friday: "Officer Hensen, we are here to take your statement. I'm Sargeant Friday."

Hensen: "I know the drill."

Friday: "Tell us in your own words what happened."

Hensen: "I had come off duty."

Friday: "What time was that?"

Hensen: "After 9:30 last night."

Friday: "Go on."

Hensen: "I went to the Walmart in Panorama City."

Romero: "I know the one."

Hensen: "It closes late, and I needed a few things."

Friday: "Uh huh."

Hensen: "The place was crowded even at that time. I was making my way to frozen foods to pick up what I needed. I opened the door and fetched what a frozen dinner. That was when I felt something strange on my chest. I thought it was caused by the chill of the freezer. I ignored it for a moment. Then I felt my shirt get tight. I soon discovered that my chest was expanding. I couldn't believe it. I closed the door and backed away. Then I happened to look over my shoulder. I saw someone there, a few steps behind me."

Romero: "Man or woman?"

Hensen: "A man. His hand was in a bag, so I couldn't see it, but it looked like he had something pointed right at me. I yelled 'Hey'. He took off. I ran after him. But there were people around, it was hard to get through once he turned a corner. I followed him outside. He ran into the passenger seat of a car and sped off."

Romero: "Did you get the license number?"

Hensen: "Yes, I already gave that information to other officers."

Romero: "What about the suspect? What did he look like?"

Hensen: "He was short and slim, maybe five seven, 155 pounds. Short brown hair, parted on the left. He was wearing one of those big down jackets with a hood, he also wore jeans and white sneakers."

Friday: "Any distinguishing marks?"

Hensen: "He was covered from head to toe. It's winter, everyone is bundled up."

Friday: "The person who was driving the getaway car. Can you describe the driver?"

Hensen: "I didn't get a good look at him. But he was a man. I could tell that. He was bigger than his partner. But that isn't saying much, his partner was mighty thin."

Friday: "Were you hurt in any other way?"

Hensen: "No, except for these mounds on my chest. I feel fine. But they want to keep me in the hospital to do more tests."

Friday: "You hang in there. We'll find the guy."

Hensen: "I'll try. I called my girlfriend; she should be here soon. I told her what happened, but she doesn't believe me."

Friday: "You aren't the only one. This is the second time that we know of."

Hensen: "I guess that makes me feel better. But how will my girlfriend react when she sees these. My breasts are bigger than hers."

Friday: "Tell her yours are temporary."

----

Romero: "Where to now, Joe."

Friday: "Let's go to Walmart and obtain the surveillance tape."

Romero: "We should go to the Twin Pines Mall and pick up their tape too."

Friday: "We should have done that before."

Romero: "I know. But how could we know this is a real thing."

Dr. Hacket: "Can I speak to you guys?"

Friday: "About Officer Hansen?"

Dr. Hacket: "No, someone else."

Romero: "Who?"

Dr. Hacket: "Officer Hansen wasn't the only person who had spontaneous breast growth."

Romero: "You mean Mr. Middleton?"

Dr. Hacket: "I don't know who that is. There is someone else. Although his growth wasn't as extreme."

Romero: "What happened?"

Dr. Hacket: "A man came to emergency claiming his chest was puffy. He didn't call it breast growth. As I said it was less extreme than Officer Hansen's."

Romero: "I see."

Dr. Hacket: "He came in and said his chest was puffy and very sensitive. I looked him over and took X-rays. I didn't find any reason for the puffiness. I sent him home and told him to come back in a month. I advised him he could come back earlier if his chest became puffier or started to hurt. I didn't think anything of it. But now that I know about Officer Hansen, I think what he had was breast growth. The size and shape looked like normal women's breasts. It was only an A-cup or less. How was I to make that connection?"

Friday: "But now you think he was our first victim?"

Dr. Hacket: "I don't know if he was the first, but he was the first I encountered."

Friday: "Can you give me his name and address?"

Dr. Hacket: "Not right now. I had better contact him first. There is still doctor/patient confidentiality."

Friday: "OK, have him call us."

Dr. Hacket: "I'll tell him."

Friday Voice-Over: "We exited the hospital at 9:03 a.m. and checked in with headquarters. There was information. The car that the suspect took off in had been found. It was abandoned a few blocks from the Walmart. It had been stolen a short time before. Uniformed officers interviewed the car theft victim, and he was eliminated as a suspect."

Romero: "I didn't think there would be earlier victims."

Friday: "Neither did I, but I can see how a victim might not complain. Maybe he just thought his breast development is a little puffiness if its small enough. If it's a little bigger, some guys might be embarrassed to say anything. I think we should contact all the hospitals to see if there are more victims."

Romero: "We had better get word to doctors too, in case the victim sees his family doctor instead of a hospital."

Friday: "Right."

Friday Voice-Over: "At 9:16 a.m. we watched the video tape from the Walmart. Due to the hood that the suspect was wearing, we couldn't get a better description. The description of what happened was confirmed by the surveillance tape. The suspect didn't seem to be stalking his victim, he simply seemed to lie in wait and chose his victim at random. Also, the right hand of the suspect was always covered by a bag. He would bring it up and point it at the victim. We dropped the tape at the crime lab to get a blowup of the best image of the suspect. Since both incidents happened in crowded public areas, there wasn't any use in sending the guys from the lab to look for trace evidence. The tape from the Twin Pines Mall was retrieved at 10:43 a.m.

Once the word went out to the hospitals, reports started to come in. There were five more men who had breasts thrust upon their chests. None was as big as Officer Hansen's. We catalogued every report and followed up with an interview."

Chief: "How is it going with the Boob Jobs?"

Friday: "Is that what we are calling them?"

Chief: "Grassley made it up. The name just seemed to have stuck. How is it going?"

Friday: We are still interviewing several new victims. Hoping for a break."

Chief: "How many have there been?"

Friday: "With the first three, we are up to eight."

Chief: "You think that is all?"

Friday: "That's all we know of. Maybe we should release the story to the paper."

Chief: "Do we want to scare the public?"

Friday: "We might not have any choice, besides the papers might discover the case by themselves. If we contact them, we can control the story."

Chief: "OK, Joe talk to public relations to figure out what is the best way to get the story out."

Friday: "No matter what we do, the story is going to be sensational."

Chief: "It's up to you to keep the sensationalism to a minimum. Just give them the facts. Legally this is no different than simple assault. It's similar legally to when some guy punches another guy and breaks a rib."

Friday: "Only in this case, the swelling doesn't go down."

Friday Voice-Over: "We didn't know if a story in the papers would discover new victims. There might be a few or a great deal. There wasn't any way of telling. We didn't even know how long the Boob Job Bandit had been operating.

Everyone called the perpetrator the Boob Job Bandit even though that wasn't accurate. He wasn't a bandit. He didn't steal anything. When we found him, we would charge him with assault.

Before the new cases came in, Ben and I went to see the final two victims we knew of so far. At 11:51 a.m. we called the final victim's home. His wife informed us that he was at work. We obtained the address. We arrived at his place of employment, A.L. Industries, at 12:17 p.m."

Friday: "Mr. Clark, we're from the police. This is Officer Romero. My name is Friday. We heard you developed a problem."

Friday Voice-Over: "It might be winter, but it was warm in the office. Despite that, Mr. Clark was wearing a thick sweater over his shirt and tie. The bulk of his clothing hid any hint of the 'small' breasts that were on his chest. But as a man, he shouldn't have any breasts on his chest to hide.

As far as we could tell, none of them had started to wear a bra for support. These first few victims only had modest breast growth. Officer Hensen definitely had the biggest growth or any. He would have to wear a bra or some sort of support. If he didn't, he would develop back problems, like my mother haa."

Clark: "It's not a problem. It's just a bit of swelling. That is what my doctor told me."

Romero: "We have to assure you that it is nothing to be embarrassed about. It's not your fault. You are a victim of a crime. You aren't the only one."

Clark: "There are more like me?"

Romero: "At least a half dozen. Some have it worse than you do."

Clark: "Really? The way it is now, it's not too bad, but they are so damn sensitive. I had to borrow my wife's camisole. The soft satiny material gives me some relief."

Romero: "Do what you can, but we have some questions to ask you."

Clark: "I don't know what I can tell you."

Romero: "When did you start to notice the swellings?"

Clark: "I was out with my wife. We went to a movie, after that we went to a diner. My chest was itchy for a while, but I didn't think anything of it. I didn't know something was really wrong until I got undressed after I got home."

Romero: "Do you know when the itchiness started?"

Clark: "Not exactly, I think during dinner. I don't remember if it started before, during the car ride to the diner."

Romero: "Did you see anyone pointing anything at you?"

Clark: "No, I wasn't paying attention."

Romero: "Was the movie crowded?"

Clark: "I guess, maybe a hundred people. It took a minute or two before the patrons all files out."

Romero: "When was that?"

Clark: "About a month ago. I saw the doctor two days after."

Romero: "That's all the questions we have."

Clark: "You don't want to see my chest?"

Romero: "No, that won't be necessary."

Clark sighs.

Clark: "I was afraid you wanted to see it."

---

Friday: "I think he was the earliest victim."

Romero: "Seems so."

Friday: "I think he got it in the theater. He could have been shot at the restaurant after, but the theater is more likely. Crowded place, dark lights. Seems the best place to test the Boob Gun out."

Romero: "You're probably right. What's next?"

Friday: "Let's put this case to bed for the day and work on something else. Tomorrow, when it hits the papers, will probably be a rough day."

Romero: "'Kay."

Friday Voice-Over: "The next day was a circus. It seemed as though any man who had the slightest redness or an itch on their chest came to see us. They all wanted to show us what they had and ask what they could do about it.

There were also some odd fellows, who were looking to on purpose, expose their chest. They volunteered to be decoys for us. We declined their offers.

After a day of interviewing the potential victims, we discovered seven more victims. A couple of these victims just ignored the problem since their breast growth was very modest. Others were too embarrassed to see a doctor and hoped it would go away. We didn't have any answers on how to 'reduce the swelling', except to see their doctors. The doctors only had one solution; it was a surgical solution.

There were some women who came in. We let a pair of policewomen interview them. They couldn't determine if the potential victims had been affected at all. Maybe they were just bloated.

We wrote reports on all the legitimate victims. All told there were fifteen victims (all men) over a course of 34 days or approximately one victim every two days. The Boob Job Bandit had to be stopped.

Chief: "What is the status?"

Friday: "He's a short man, maybe five six or seven, brown hair, wearing a large down jacket with a hood. He strikes in crowded places, like a large store, mall or packed theater. Whatever he is using is hidden in a paper bag or plastic sack. His other hand usually has a glove on it, which isn't unusual for the cold weather. He seems to pick his victims at random and doesn't say anything to them. All his victims are men, although if he does strike women, how would they know, they might not even care. The breast expansion started small, but he is moving to the bigger cup sizes now. Officer Hansen is the biggest we know."

Chief: "Is that all?"

Friday: "So far. Most of the people think it's a medical problem. It's not a regular assault or mugging where the victim knows immediately something is wrong. Most people are confused. At wintertime, their chests are well hidden under cold weather apparel. The first indication that something is wrong is chest sensitivity. Even if there are bumps on their chest, they wouldn't realize what is happening. Who would believe it?"

Chief: "The word is out now. People will be more aware."

Friday: "They will be more afraid also."

Friday Voice-Over: "We followed up all the new leads we had. We looked at video tape from the surveillance cameras of a dozen crime scenes. The face of the perpetrator was always hidden from view in his down jacket. We followed the suspect through the store trying to get a better angle from multiple cameras. But that was a dead end too, the perpetrator wore a flesh-colored scarf to hide his face.

We checked in with the doctors who say the victims. The swellings on their chests were actual women's breasts. The same as any woman would have. Whatever hair that had been on the chest where the breasts grew had disappeared as if it had never existed.

We decided to stakeout the crowded malls during the usual time that the Boob Job Bandit struck. Because women were either ignored or immune, we used policewomen in most cases. There wasn't another confirmed case for a week. The newspaper articles might have scared the bandit off.

A week later, the Boob Job Bandit started up again. The two victims had some major breast growth. It would be hard for these men to hide their new assets under a thick sweater."

Chief: "I want this guy caught."

Romero: "We are doing the best we can."

Chief: "Is that true?"

Romero: "Yes."

Chief: "You could join the stake outs."

Friday: "We will. It was your suggestion that only female officers be used."

Chief: "I'm changing my mind."

Friday Voice-Over: "We started our stake out at 1:58 P.m. and would continue until 8:00 when the shopping traffic ebbed. A team of two officers would stake out each location. I was naturally teamed with my usual partner, Ben. Ben would stand near the front of the store, and I would casually walk up and down the aisles pretending to shop.

I wasn't in my usual plain clothes attire, of a suit and tie. I wanted to look casual, I wore a loose-fitting polo shirt (to hide my gun) under my jacket. I also wore comfortable shoes and a pair of brown slacks.

Ben gave me his wife's shopping list. There were over twenty items on the list mostly groceries. I picked out one thing in the grocery section at a time and then would casually walk to other departments of the store. In the other departments, I would peruse the inventory, pick up a product, put it in my basket and then return it on my next go around.

My eyes were open for anything suspicious. I looked for anyone wearing a down jacket regardless of the coat having a hood or not. I looked for people who were keeping their hands out of sight."

Friday: "Two hours, no luck."

Romero: "We've been on stake out for well over eight or ten hours and nothing has happened."

Friday: "I know, but this time I have to get off my feet."

Romero: "You're still young yet."

Friday: "I have to go to the bathroom. You watch the cart."

Romero: "It's your cart."

Friday: "The groceries are for you."

Romero: "You could use some practice shopping anyway. One day you'll get married and have to do shopping like this for real."

Friday: "Maybe so, but today is not the day."

Romero: "Don't worry about the cart, no one will take it. I'll go to the car and see if there are any messages for us."

Friday: "I'll be with you in a minute."

Friday Voice-Over: "I walked to the restroom. Police are human, even we have to go sometimes. Sometimes even when we are in the middle of a stake out.

I didn't realize how sore I had become. My legs were hurting, even my chest started to ache. It would be nice to sit down for a few minutes, even if it was just the time necessary to relieve myself.

I made the biggest mistake that a police officer can do, I let me guard down. I wasn't looking for the bandit anymore. I felt I was on my own time. A police officer is never really on his own time. I didn't realize that my chest had been expanding. I thought it was just aching like the rest of me.

I was passed a B-cup before I realized what was happening to me. Suddenly, I became alert. I looked around. I saw him. he wasn't in a down jacket this time. He was wearing a navy hoodie under a bomber jacket. His right hand was covered by a plastic bag. He was looking right at me and smiling. I didn't know that when I turned, he pressed harder on the trigger of his device.

I pulled out my gun."

Friday: "Stop what you're doing, Police."

Suspect: "You're not going to get me copper!"

Friday Voice-Over: "The man turned and ran. I couldn't fire my gun at him for two reasons, the man was unarmed. The Boob Gun wasn't considered a deadlyweapon in the usual sense. Not one that I could use deadly force against. The second reason was the store full of innocent pedestrians. I couldn't fire when there were so many people around.

The suspect ran toward the entrance. Ben should have been there, but I knew he went to the car for messages. I ran after the suspect. I didn't know how big my breasts had begun, but they started to bounce with each step. I wasn't used to running with boobs on my chest. I had to use my arm to steady my boobs as I ran. It helped, but I was still running slower than I should have, as I was running in an awkward way.

I grabbed for my radio and called Ben. I told him the suspect was heading to the main entrance and to watch for him. Instead, the suspect exited through a fire entrance. I followed him out, but I was well behind. I saw him get into the passenger seat of a car and drive off.

Ben was waiting by the front door. We got into our squad car and gave chase of the suspect. We were fifteen or twenty seconds behind, but soon caught up."

Friday: "Come on. Get that gas pedal down to the floor."

Romero: "Already there. He's turning off right."

Friday: "Get the siren. I'll get the light. We're gaining a little Ben...next corner to the left."

Romero: "Joe where did he go?"

Friday: "Fancy driver. Try the next alley to the left."

Romero: "Must have turn up the cross street."

Friday: "Damn, every time we go over a bump."

Romero: "What did you say?"

Friday: "Nothing."

Romero: "I'll go through the alley and double back on him."

Friday: "Hurry up Ben."

Romero: "Watch it. He's gonna ram us!"

Friday Voice-Over: "We got hit just in front of the rear bumper. Our car was forced into the curbing, and it turned over. The suspect was really lucky. He kept right on going. The safety belt saved both of our lives. But it was bad enough. Ben and I were taken to the hospital for examinations. There wasn't anything wrong with either of us...except for the two D-cup boobs sitting on my chest.

The chase continued with other police officers. The driver of the car was captured. But the passenger, the Boob Job Bandit must have exited the car along the way. he was still missing. The chief visited us at the hospital."

Chief: "Friday, Romero, how you feel?"

Romero: "A little banged up."

Chief: "Friday, how about you?"

Friday: "Not too bad. It's just hard to get used to these."

Chief: "That's why I came down. The department has issued you a voucher. Since you were injured on the job, you can buy new apparel. You can get tops, jackets and bras, whatever you need. The department will pick up the tab."

Friday: "I can make do with what I have."

Chief: "I'm sure none of you tops or jackets will fit. Also, you need proper support."

Friday: "I see."

Chief: "Romero, you go with him. You are going to get two days of medical leave to get Friday's wardrobe in order. And remember, you are still an officer in the Los Angeles Police Department."

Friday: "Yeah."

Chief: "No floral tops or pastel-colored jackets."

Friday: "Romero, call your wife, I want her to come with us. It'll be less embarrassing that way."

Romero: "I'll call. But I don't know how much less embarrassed you'll be."

Friday Voice-Over: "Ben and I met up with Ben's wife, Anne. She suggested we start with the bras."

Anne: "You'll never know if something fits well if you don't already have your breasts supported properly. Do you know your size?"

Friday: "I hadn't thought about it."

Anne: "I didn't think so, no problem I brought a tape measure."

Friday Voice-Over: "Anne was a woman of many talents, she knew exactly how to determine what bra size I was. I took off my jacket. She told me I didn't have to remove my shirt. Anne wrapped the tape measure around my diaphragm right under my breasts. Then she wrapped the tape measure around the fullest part of my new breasts. I tried not to watch as she measured me."

Anne: "Joe, you're a 36D."

Friday: "Thank you, Anne."

Anne: "Come with me to the lingerie department."

Friday: "Ben, I never thought I would ever have to be fit for a bra. Even when we were looking for the suspect, I never thought this could ever happen to me."

Romero: "Joe, don't worry, you have friends. Everyone on the force will support you. Maybe support is not the right words"

Anne: "Women select bras for many reasons, style, color, what it will be worn under. Let's see...Here's a Playtex 18-hour bra that's very supportive. Here's a Bali ComfortFlex, it's very comfortable. Here's a Just My Size front closure bra. You shouldn't have any problem getting it on like a back closure bra."

Friday: "I'll leave it up to you."

Anne: "No, I want you to try them on and tell me how they feel."

Friday: "Do I have to?"

Anne: "Yeah."

Romero: "I can come with you if you like."

Friday: "I've been putting on my clothes by myself for a while now. I think I can manage."

Romero: "No problem."

Friday Voice-Over: "I took the three bras with me and walked across the store to the men's changing room. I tried to hold the garments in such a way that no one would tell what they were. Inside the changing room, I took off my jacket and my shirt. My large breasts were sagging. It was clear that I needed support despite not feeling any discomfort at the moment.

I tried on the Just My Size bra first. It was the only one with a front closure which made it the easiest to wear. I pulled my arms through the straps and then pulled the cups over my breasts. I fastened the hooks. The bra felt good. I decided to see how it felt under a shirt. It was only then that I realized it's true comfort. My nipples and the sensitive skin of my breasts had been rubbing against the rough material of my shirt. I had never considered my cotton shirt as rough material before, but I was mistaken. With the cups hugging and cradling my boobs, they felt much better.

I returned after trying on all three garments."

Anne: "What do you think?"

Friday: "Each bra has it good and bad points. But I think that support is the most important thing when I'm on the job. We should choose the 18-hour bra. Even though I think it feels tight. Maybe a larger size?"

Anne: "The tightness is the support. You don't need a larger size. I see, but let's try a few more to make sure that is the best choice. Even 18-hour bras come in several varieties."

Friday: "Ben, why don't you call into the office and see how the case is going. This might take a while."

Romero: "Sure thing Joe."

Friday: "Anne, I'd mean meaning to ask you."

Anne: "Yes?"

Friday: "What do you call those bras that don't have hooks?"

Anne: "Sports bras?"

Friday: "Yeah, that's them. Can I try one?"

Anne: "Sure you can. I'll get one. But with your size, I would suggest you stick to a more conventional bra. Except when you're relaxing."

Friday Voice-Over: "By the time Ben had returned with the news. Anne and I had selected almost ten bras. Anne went to pay for them. The bill would be forwarded to the department."

Romero: "The suspect won't cop out. He says he was alone in the car at all times. He said he only ran because we were chasing him."

Friday: "I didn't expect it would be that easy."

Romero: "It never is."

Anne: "All bought and paid for. Go into the changing room and put one on. It's time to get some tops."

Friday Voice-Over: "We spent several hours finding me a wardrobe. The tops and jackets had to match the pants I already owned. I spent more time selecting apparel than I ever did in my life. Anne guided me to the correct selections. Clothes that would fit and look professional, but also reduce the appearance of my breasts and still made me look somewhat masculine.

We reported in at eight the next morning. I was wearing my new suit. The pants were my usual slacks. The matching, as far as the color went, blazer had a notched lapel, long button-open sleeves, two-button front, front flap pockets and a back vent. It was designed for a 'curvy' figure which I had to admit I now possessed. I wore it with a collared button-up shirt. It had plenty of room on the top for my new assets. The buttons were on the wrong side from my perspective. It felt odd buttoning up the shirt. My tie was the same crimson tie I usually wore. Under all of it, I wore an 18-Hour Original Comfort Strap Wire-Free Bra. Anne informed me that it was a minimizer bra. It kept my new boobs under control.

Even though my entire outfit was designed to minimize my assets, they were too big to hide in any way. Everyone knew about what had happened to me. I didn't like the situation, but I wasn't embarrassed, many officers get injured in the line of duty. I wasn't any different.

The chief took Ben and I out to breakfast. None of us was in a good mood. We discussed the suspect, Ed Leiter, who had been captured and interrogated while I was selecting my new apparel."

Chief: "There was another assault by the Boob Job Bandit last night."

Romero: "So close to being caught and he didn't take a rest?"

Chief: "No, but he didn't operate at a mall this time."

Romero: "Where then?'

Chief: "There was a hockey game at the arena. ten thousand happy fans saw the Kings win. One of those fans returned home a queen."

Romero: "When did it happen?"

Chief: "In the parking lot after the game. A young man out with three of his friends were headed toward their car. It was nighttime and too many people around to see who did it."

Friday: "This guy has to be stopped!"

Chief: "There's one way to handle it. He works fast. You work a little faster."

Friday Voice-Over: "We went back to the office and to go over the crime reports one by one. Then we questioned Ed Leiter personally. He tried to keep a smile off his face when he saw me. He wasn't too successful. I wouldn't give in to him by acting in any way that wasn't completely professional.

We interrogated Leiter all day into the evening with interruptions for his meal periods. He would admit nothing more than he had already told us.

Several days passed. There were more victims of the Boob Job Bandit."

Romero: "It's got me beat Joe."

Friday: "Yeah let's check with the Chief."

Romero: "Hi, Mike, Chief in?"

Mike: "He went down to the board room, he'll be back in a minute."

Phone rings.

Mike: "Chief of detectives office, Hannon...yeah...for you Joe."

Friday: "Friday...oh yeah...he does...we'll be right over."

Friday: "That was Sargeant Hopkins over at the jail. He says Leiter has something to tell us. It's important."

---

Romero: "Have a seat here, Leiter."

Leiter: "Yeah, thanks."

Friday: "Alright, you wanted to see us."

Leiter: "I'm getting even with that dame Myra. I'm squaring with her."

Friday: "What dame?"

Leiter: "I didn't tell you, the Boob Job Bandit. She's a woman."

Friday: "She is?"

Leiter: "She told me if I was picked up, she would have me out in a couple of hours. She promised me a lawyer if anything happened."

Friday: "Where is she?"

Leiter: "She lives at 1345 Munich Drive in Beverly Hills."

Friday: "Is she there now?"

Leiter: "Probably."

Romero: "I have a question."

Leiter: "Yeah."

Romero: "Do you know why did she do it?"

Leiter: "Myra is a medical genius. But, you've seen her, she looks like a guy. She doesn't like that. So she created a machine that would increase the size of her breasts."

Romero: "So, why is she using on men?"

Leiter: "She created this machine, and she used it on herself. It was supposed to work, but it didn't. It'll never work on her or any woman. It only works on men. It has something to do with the estrogen content in the blood. It won't work for any one with normal estrogen levels. The thought that men could have bigger boobs than her, pushed her over the edge. Now, she is just obsessed."

Romero: "I see."

Leiter: "She doesn't need it. She had it all. She's smart, pretty and a great figure, even without too much on top."

Friday Voice-Over: "We obtained an arrest warrant and knocked on Myra's door. No one was home. We obtained a pass key and entered. We waited for her to arrive.

When she arrived, she wasn't as we expected. She wasn't dressed like a man anymore. She was attired as a lady. She wore a black top with long sleeves and a plunging neckline that descended into a high waisted capri slacks accessorized with a statement choker. Her hips were wide, and her butt was shapely. With the proper application of makeup, her face had lost her masculine appearance accentuating smooth lines and large eyes. Despite her small breasts, she was gorgeous.

Myra: "Who are you? What are you doing in my home?" Then she saw me. "I remember you from the Walmart. Come here to thank me?"

Friday: "You are under arrest."

Myra: "Get your dirty hands off me. Get away."

Romero: "She's got quite a temper."

Friday: "There, that ought to hold you for a while. Come on. Let's go."

Myra: "You don't have anything on me?"

Friday: "Well, there is this."

Friday Voice-Over: "We had searched the house while we had some time. We discovered what we thought was the breast enhancement gun. We couldn't be a hundred percent sure, but the lab boys would confirm what we expected.

Myra: "What's that? You planted that here. I didn't give any man some new soft breasts."

Romero: "Who said anything about breasts? But before you go on, I'm going to read you your rights."

Friday: "Alright, inside." Car door slams.

Friday: "You got a smoke Ben?

Romero: "Yeah. Here."

Friday: "Thanks. I was just thinking Leiter was right."

Romero: "What?"

Friday: "She's a pretty nice-looking woman."

Romero: "Yeah, face...beautiful face. Long legs, almost perfect. Hey Joe, remind me to take home some flowers to my wife tonight."

Narrator: "The story you just read is true. Only the names were changed to protect the innocent and the producers."

Different Narrator: "Myra Cameron was convicted on seven counts of assault. Ed Leiter was convicted on four counts of conspiracy to commit assault. They are now serving out their sentences in the state penitentiary.

You have just heard the second in a series of authentic cases from official files of the Los Angeles Police Department. Technical advice comes from the office of the Chief of Police Los Angeles, Police Department."

End.

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